Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
