I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
