so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
