I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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