You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
