I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
