I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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