...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
