I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
