Can Purell be used as lube?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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