JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
