Your dad touched me again.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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