Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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