She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
