Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
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