their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
