just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
