Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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