So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
