just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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