it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
The adults are the big ones right?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
