im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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