Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
