Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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