i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
