you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Who died my cat blue again?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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