Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
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There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
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Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
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