but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Terrible idea I love it
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
