so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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