There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
