Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
