Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
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