MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
