apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
