I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
