If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
