yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
