My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
is wine microwaveable?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
