What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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