sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
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