The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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