people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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