What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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