She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
We're too hungover to prance.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
