problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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