he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
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I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
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All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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