her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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