My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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