please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
