Pappa wants mamma naked
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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