i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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