So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
