The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
