Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im holly from the hills drunk
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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