best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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