Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
