lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
