How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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