it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
