I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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