Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I know her cup size but not her name....
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
