If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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